I have heard people go on about the new Burger king branches in SA for some time now. When a person tells me about a great burger they have tried, i always ask em if they eat the burgers from the ‘golden arch’ company. If the answer is yes, then I know how little taste that they have burger wise. I had a burger from the yellow bum the other day and it tasted worse than cat food! Just terrible. That thing hit the trash can just before the first bite was ejected and followed suit I really have no idea how they have been around so long, but apparently millions of dollars of marketing can brainwash a heck of a lot of people into thinking that what they serve is actually food!
I do know quite a few people who regularly travel quite a distance to get Burger kings offerings, so I thought it was time to give em a squirt.
The tattoo shop is real close to the East Rand mall Burger King branch in Boksburg, so I trundled myself up the road trying to avoid all of the potholes that threatened to swallow up my 4×4. The menu was a lot smaller than I expected, but with my ex girlfriends words, size doesnt matter, echoing through my skull, I decided to order the whopper burger. They had larger burgers but the whopper is the one that was mentioned in the drawn out conversation between John Travolta and the guy from Black snake moan just before they turn religious and smoke everybody in the room!
A hungry lunchtime queue had formed when I got there so was a few minutes before I got my order in. There is a yelloy bum burger joint across the road so the lunch squad did have options. And they were here. I guessed that was somehow significant, not only for Burger Kings bottom line. Its a competetive marketplace and being the laat lammetjies means that they have a lot of ground to make up.T
The sandwich, that’s what the Americans call a burger, and I do see that you can have a meat sandwich, but flip the script and a peanut butter and jam burger simply doesnt wash. So its definitely a burger to me when it appears, and I open the box to be greeted by a very pleasing sight. Not the burger itself, which was larger than I had anticipated..Size does matter… but the fact that half the burger was very cozily wrapped in a piece of paper which meant that my inability to touch food was negated. I would finally be able to lift and eat a burger using my hands. This would spare me the embarrassment of trying to wangle some cutlery from a place that only sells finger food.
I bite into the burger and am very pleasantly surprised at how thin the roll is. I hate bread and think it should only be used for feeding ducks, but I understand its use in a burger as it acts like a handle to hold the filling, so the lack of a huge wedge of dough is a big plus for me. I am however a big meat eater, so when I saw what was supposed to be the burger patty, which was as thin as a coat of brown paint on the lower portion of bun, I was disappointed. i am a bit spoiled though..I make my own patties from meat that I grind and spice myself, so I’m always compensating and make mine big and thick!
The fresh garnish which was very generously heaped onto the top of the smudge of meat however was very welcome. i don’t think there is ever enough garnish on a burger, and most places give you lettuce that looks as though if was cut with a guillotine during the french revolution! The lettuce and onion, complete with 2, yes 2 slices of tomato that were clearly freshly cut, made it seem like more of a fresh tasting salad roll than a serious burger. And with so much dassie food on it, and the meat being as thin as a photograph of a burger patty, I reckon that even vegetabletarians wouldnt mind eating it. It should come with a sign saying ‘no animals were harmed in the making of this burger’ I reckon they just shake the animal and whatever dead skin cells fall off it, they just roll in with the rest of the ‘ingredients’. Its advertised as 100 percent pure beef, and if it comes from some part of a cow I reckon its legal to call it beef. I doubt very much however that the entire patty is made of beef.. Tastes to me like it has been stretched with a few other products and the texture bears that out as it has more a consistency of thick porridge than actual beef products. You really shouldn’t be able to chew meat with your tongue!
Having said that it also doesn’t taste like cat food so it is not something that needs to be binned after a bite. For the 28 ronts and the R3 for extra cheese, a decent slice of processed, It was actually quite a pleasant experience. Hell, I got to finally eat a burger with my hands! So for an emergency meal for a bachelor or other person who is equally too lazy to make real food, (like a wife that is headed for da wors!), its a passable substitute! I’m a bit hungry now..Think I’ll go get another one!
seandstevens 